The person who came up with the phrase “time flies when you’re having fun” is most certainly spot on. Why time has to drag at a friggin snail pace when going through hard times is just….. well…… dumb. Today marks one year since my Mom suddenly passed. The days that followed are still a blur. When I later read all the texts and messages that people sent offering their condolences, my response, the same as if on auto pilot: “Thank you, I appreciate that, heart emoji.” Looking back at the months that followed, 3 memorial services, Dads frequent trips to the ER and eventual surgery that left him immobile for several months, scrambling to find ways to make it financially possible for him to stay in his home….the new reality that the matriarch of the family is gone. It was a dark hole that I felt that I would never be able to crawl out of. I saw no light. No silver lining. Just despair, regret, and utter sadness. I am by nature an optimist, and this new heavy blanket of darkness swallowed me up. My mom frequently quoted me Psalm 30, “Joy comes with the morning.” That became my mantra. By the grace of God, the love of my family and dear friends, and some delicious Oregon grapes, (helloooooo Pinot!) I eventually am finding my way back to “the new normal.” The level of perspective that is gained with each hardship and tragedy that we endure is constantly broadened . I can now confidently tell you that I’m no weenie. The visual of moms lifeless body isn’t on constant replay anymore, and I’m finding myself smiling more when thinking of her. God blessed me with 46 1/2 years with my Mom. For that, I am forever grateful. Happy angel anniversary Mom. I love you.

Source: The person who came up with the phrase “time flies when you’re having fun” is most certainly spot on. Why time has to drag at a friggin snail pace when going through hard times is just….. well…… dumb. Today marks one year since my Mom suddenly passed. The days that followed are still a blur. When I later read all the texts and messages that people sent offering their condolences, my response, the same as if on auto pilot: “Thank you, I appreciate that, heart emoji.” Looking back at the months that followed, 3 memorial services, Dads frequent trips to the ER and eventual surgery that left him immobile for several months, scrambling to find ways to make it financially possible for him to stay in his home….the new reality that the matriarch of the family is gone. It was a dark hole that I felt that I would never be able to crawl out of. I saw no light. No silver lining. Just despair, regret, and utter sadness. I am by nature an optimist, and this new heavy blanket of darkness swallowed me up. My mom frequently quoted me Psalm 30, “Joy comes with the morning.” That became my mantra. By the grace of God, the love of my family and dear friends, and some delicious Oregon grapes, (helloooooo Pinot!) I eventually am finding my way back to “the new normal.” The level of perspective that is gained with each hardship and tragedy that we endure is constantly broadened . I can now confidently tell you that I’m no weenie. The visual of moms lifeless body isn’t on constant replay anymore, and I’m finding myself smiling more when thinking of her. God blessed me with 46 1/2 years with my Mom. For that, I am forever grateful. Happy angel anniversary Mom. I love you.

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The person who came up with the phrase “time flies when you’re having fun” is most certainly spot on. Why time has to drag at a friggin snail pace when going through hard times is just….. well…… dumb. Today marks one year since my Mom suddenly passed. The days that followed are still a blur. When I later read all the texts and messages that people sent offering their condolences, my response, the same as if on auto pilot: “Thank you, I appreciate that, heart emoji.” Looking back at the months that followed, 3 memorial services, Dads frequent trips to the ER and eventual surgery that left him immobile for several months, scrambling to find ways to make it financially possible for him to stay in his home….the new reality that the matriarch of the family is gone. It was a dark hole that I felt that I would never be able to crawl out of. I saw no light. No silver lining. Just despair, regret, and utter sadness. I am by nature an optimist, and this new heavy blanket of darkness swallowed me up. My mom frequently quoted me Psalm 30, “Joy comes with the morning.” That became my mantra. By the grace of God, the love of my family and dear friends, and some delicious Oregon grapes, (helloooooo Pinot!) I eventually am finding my way back to “the new normal.” The level of perspective that is gained with each hardship and tragedy that we endure is constantly broadened . I can now confidently tell you that I’m no weenie. The visual of moms lifeless body isn’t on constant replay anymore, and I’m finding myself smiling more when thinking of her. God blessed me with 46 1/2 years with my Mom. For that, I am forever grateful. Happy angel anniversary Mom. I love you.

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